Good day everybody! I hope you just had an amazing first week of 2018 working on all of your resolutions and building all the amazing new habits. And if you didn’t intend to change anything – I just hope you enjoyed this week as much as anybody else. To me this was a week of failing. Maybe not entirely but the pros are definitely overwhelmed by the cons. I wanted to start my healthy diet, meditation, kick out procrastination – and instead I did the complete opposite. I feel like it was just another week of Christmas break and although I went back to uni – even this didn’t make me too productive (even though I tried so hard). I’m trying to find an excuse, something to blame but it’s just not working. The only one to blame is me – oh well…
But complaining is not what I wanted to do today. I decided not to let this first week ruin my whole month or even a year (since I haven’t started on the 1st of January I could just wait for another one, right?). I was thinking to myself that maybe it’s actually healthy for me to not start on the 1st? Well yes, I desperately look for the bright side. Maybe if I find my own pace and the right time it’s going to be more natural and easier? But – I will stop wondering at this point and just focus on what’s in front of me which is still over 350 days to work on myself. I will accept my failure and humbly take the first step forward. Fingers crossed this time it’s actually forward.
On a positive note there are few things that I did this week which could be possibly labelled as meaningful so I’ll focus on them now.
I am not fat
And please don’t get me wrong here. It really has more meaning than just this simple expression up there. So since I remember I was being called chubby (by others) and fat (by myself) and I just got used to it – I got used to the fact that I am fat and I have to work on not being fat – simple. Since I remember I was on a diet or tried to be on one. This year wasn’t supposed to be any different – my goal was to work on my body and implement a healthy diet into my life. But something changed when I looked at myself in the mirror this week – I realised that I’m not fat. I am not fit either – I do have a little bit too much of fat that I would like to get rid of. But I’m not fat. I stared at every inch of myself for some time and came to the realisation that I could even try to like myself the way I am right now. And this was crucial for me because I told myself that – yes, I want to lose weight but I’m not fat and if I want to work on my body it’s only ever for myself and no one else.
Minimalism is the way to go
This week I also watched a movie on Netflix called Minimalism. And as far as I would like to write a separate post on that and how I want my life to be in terms of consumption etc. – I just wanted to mention it here because it led me to the state of mind I am in today. The movie itself wasn’t as eye-opening as I thought it would be – most of the things I already knew deep down in my head – but it was the spark of a big change in my life because it showed me (we people like visualisation, right?) how our life looks like and how desperate for things it is. Yesterday I started listening to a short audiobook Goodbye, Things: The New Japanese Minimalism. I’m half way through it but I already know it’s going to cause an even bigger change in my life and I can highly recommend listening to it too (I think you can even find it on YouTube). Let’s treat this short mention as an introduction to another blog post.
Fighting personality features is hard
I mean – incredibly hard. One of my 2018 resolutions was cutting off the amount of sarcasm I use and making my sense of humour a little bit less harsh. And as long as this is probably the only resolution I tried to work on this week I realised how hard it’s going to be and how long it’s going to take to change it. I’m trying to constantly monitor myself throughout the day – so that I can change my attitude straight away when I feel something’s wrong – and I feel like the personality features I want to fight are just as tempting as a piece of chocolate when you’re on a diet. Whenever I sense the occasion to use some ‘funny’ expression or to joke I want to make use of it so bad that it actually makes me lose against myself way too often. I think I’m going to start some kind of diary to write down all the situations that I wish were different.
And that’s it for today. I was really trying to make it as short as possible because I don’t want my posts to be long and boring so I would like to ask you to tell me – what’s the best length? Should I make them a little bit shorter to make it easier to read? Also how was your first week of 2018? Did you get everything you wanted done or had a little failure as well? Let me know in the comments!